Guess who is one of the top 5 producers in her company?! That’s right-Top 5 be-atches!  Actually, as it turns out 3 of the 5 of us are from the DC office.

Because I love what I do and well, because this is a public blog I’ll just leave it as “top 5 producer”.  If you know me you know (or can find out) what that means, but I’d rather stay employed thankyouverymuch.  I have to be honest, I’m over the moon.    I am so very proud.

And then I came home.  And the boy, while happy, wasn’t through the roof (as I suppose I expected).  And I was hurt. And I should know better than to set up expectations, because let’s face it setting expectations for others never ends up like you want.   But as he put it, and the fact is, that winning some award doesn’t make me who I am and quite frankly doesn’t change “what everyone knows about me”.  It’s just announcing out loud the reality of my day-t0-day life.

Should I be proud?  Yep.  Am I proud?  You damn straight. And the boy is proud too.  Add to that some less than stellar news we learned about our dear friend’s pups, and  it’s a gentle reminder that at the end of the day, there’s more to life than winning awards.  Oh yea, and next time, I’ll send a memo about the reaction I’m looking for

PS-I’m still top 5 be-atches!

I entered the month of May as I do most things when there is a lot to accomplish, head down and ready to charge.  But I also want to enjoy the fun times, of which there were a lot to be had.  I reconcilled myself to knowing that May 4-June 4 would just basically be a whirlwind and God willing I would enjoy the ride. 

And so I present to you 30 lessons in 30 days…or somwhere around there.

1. Threatening a union worker is never smart, and usually leads to the head union guy coming to the planner (yours truly) to put everyone in “timeout”.
2. Even when it rains fun can be had.  Who says you can’t ride on an open top tour bus in a drizzle?
3. South Street is MUCH farther from the Marriott than it looks when walking back after a long day and a full belly.  That requires stopping along the way at a bar and trying your first Guiness.
4. Guiness (at least I’m told when poured badly) has an aftertaste like blood.
5. As it turns out, PETA is now running the Shennandoah National Campground horsetrails.
6. And yes, that crazy old coot will actually bring out the scale and have you stand on it to see if you are 235lbs or less FULLY CLOTHED.
7. Nothing makes Big Girl want to eat (or drink) like a little humilation.
8. Aunt Sharon gave us the WORLD’S BEST WATERPROOF tent for our wedding!  YAY for mountain-folk!
9. You can still have fun camping when it’s raining, but as it turns out rain on your tent “roof” sounds more like an ambush than something spa-like.
10. Bear poop is HUGE.
11. Blue Moon with an orange is the most deliciousness EVER.  I <3 it.
12. My husband knows me well, and sees me better than I see myself.  I know I mentioned this in yesterday’s post but it’s still true.  Not a day goes by when I’m not thanful for him.
13. Sometimes you just need to turn to your boss, tears in your eyes, and admit that if your schedule stays as crazy as it is you will simply not be able to keep up.  And you need to realize that that is ok to admit.
14. My sister and brother in law are what relaxes me.  I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s as if their presence centers me.
15. They also happen to be very decorator savvy.  I had no idea how cute my front porch could be unti they got their hands on it.
16. As it turns out, one of my favorite places now is my front porch with some good friends, family and beer (apparently LOTS of beer if you saw our trashcan).
17. Finding out you are still over 600 hours over “fully billable” after already having one meeting removed from your calendar is not nearly as glamorous as it sounds and causes you to refer to #13 above.
18. “Sweet little Allie” will in fact bold face lie to the guy, IN THE FACE, who asks if she knows the way to the White House tour when threatened with bodily injury to keep it a secret from SK and Trey by her husband.
19. Karma is also a b*tch and said guy and his wife (who you tried to apologize to) end up following you around every tourist attration in greater DC, giving you the skank eye all the way.
20. Beer is good-especially on my front porch-did I mention that?
21. Having your husband come onsite with you to a meeting is nice in theory, but as it turns out I snap right into work mode. 
22. That state right over the bridge?  Yea, still don’t like it.  Even if it is only 7 mins from my front door. 
23. A reception at the Congressional Visitors Center, while it sounds glamourous, is really a logistical nightmare and much sexier in theory than practice.  Add rain to that and you end up with one wet planner.
24. Apparently it takes house guests to get us to finish our house….but boy is it getting cute!
25. You never know just HOW much like your mother you are until you see her for the first time in 7 months.
26. It’s worse than originally thought-I’m actually a combination of BOTH of my parents!!!  RUN FOR IT!
27. There’s something special about cooking your parents dinner on their 35th wedding anniversary with your husband at your new house.   Makes you wish you were closer to family.
28. My parents still leave me money in random places when they visit.  $20 bucks in the fruit bowl-score!  Somehow it never ceases to make me smile.
29. You never realize how old you are until you go to dinner and a movie with friends at the Tysons mall for an 11:20pm showing and are in the food court.  Oh.My.Gosh. 
30. I am blessed with some amazing friends and family.  But you already knew that didn’t you?

So I’ve survived the month.  Crazy as it was, I wouldn’t change it for the world.

But that didn’t mean that work-life was suddenly pleasant. Quite the contrary actually. What I began to find was that since I stopped focusing on putting out fires and started focusing on preventing them (you know, now that I have a clue) I was more aware of my surroundings…and my surroundings were full of people who are overworked, underpaid, stressed and really really feeling budget crunches. Oh, and did I mention the entire reorganization of my company’s infrastructure oh…right about the time I started?? Yea. Good times.

And people in my office are showing it. I can’t really blame anyone, it was a tough crappy year-only crappier for me b/c I had no idea that it wasn’t “just me” or the office but rather that there were a lot of changes going on. Unfortunately, management failed to mention it to me, mostly b/c they were trying to deal with it themselves. I don’t blame my direct managers at all, it was just a crappy year.

I should have seen it coming when my original manager finally had enough and took an extended absence vacation only to come back in a different role which I learned of 1 month in on my first site visit. hmm

But here I am, and I’ve survived. Yet my office life is still less than stellar. Do I truly believe it’ll ever change? ehh, probably not while I’m here (it’s made worse by the fact that we have upper level management in this office). But, while I am here I need to make the most of it.

And thus came the brainstorming and conversations between the boy and I on how to make this the most pleasant experience possible given the parameters. It must have been January when, on a Friday night, the boy and I headed to the Chinese Buffet for me to once again gorge my sorrows in some fried rice and egg rolls. We started discussing the issues for the umpteenth time, except this time he and I were brainstorming on what I could do, not just b*tching.

I’ll be honest, at first I thought it wasn’t worth it. I mean, I know I talk a lot about walking the walk, and I know it’s up to me to be positive for myself. But I can’t lie-I didn’t think there was ANY way that I was going to make a difference in this mess. And admittedly, I thought the boys ideas on it would just fade.

But then, he sent me an article on affecting change in the workplace. And I found us having more conversations on it. And I found that I had committed myself to being positive even if it was just me.

Time has passed, and in that time I’ve had a few people come to me about either the negative atmosphere and sort of tried to band together to keep our chins up, or have literally had the conversation about teaming together to affect a positive change. Even after our annual meeting, I came out and said just about as much as my “growth opportunity”.

Am I saying that I am really changing my office? No, I wouldn’t dare be so bold. But what I HAVE noticed is that at least for me it’s not quite so painful here. And even my manager commented on her appreciation of my admission of a positive change. It’s far from perfect, but for me it’s my responsibility to try and make it the best possible environment for me to be in. And then it’s my responsibility to go home and love my family and friends and enjoy their company, letting work stay at work.

And so, in that vein, I’ve just taken on another meeting. It’s just an on site, and it’s here in the city. Unfortunately it means I have 3 meetings in the month of May (note there are only 4 weeks in that month). But it’s a partner in the Chicago office, and among other (more selfish reasons) my doing this means that she gets to celebrate her Grandmother’s 80th birthday with all her family in Tuscany. And that makes me feel good.

So maybe it’s a little victory. May might suck, but I’m doing my part. And that makes me feel good, and my work environment better for me. And I have an amazing fiancee who’s supporting me on it all to boot.

Lucky lucky girl am I.

I have met a lot of people, constructed a pretty kick a** bridge with people I didn’t previously know, and tried to get energized. There is just one problem, I can’t possibly have one more sip of “kool aid”-I just can’t do it.

I’ve been at this job for about a year and a half. Then I come here, and it’s like I’m smack dab new again. I don’t so much mind that though, it’s just slightly frustrating.

But I got stuck at another hotel for reasons I’m not even certain about anymore, meaning that NO ONE from my office is here (i.e., I know/knew no one) and generally, I just don’t know that I can drink any more of it in, or that I want to.

And I’ve tried, and I WANT to, I swear I have and I do. But despite all of my efforts, I cannot shake the fact that I still don’t feel like I fit in with my company-or at least my office. And it’s frustrating. And I’m tired. And because I’m at this outcast hotel, it’s pretty lonely. And the truth is, I’m not sure I want to fit in with my office….maybe the Boston office will adopt me.

This morning was fairly rough, and I don’t know that I’m totally over-it yet. I’m not getting enough sleep, but there’s so much to do, and when I try to go to bed early I feel like I’m missing out.

Then I get here this morning to start making calls about shipping to Cuba for a client. Turns out we have this little thing called an “embargo”

Huh, I knew that sounded familiar. I’m not sure I even understand the whole issue, but I feel certain that after all my internet searches and calls this morning, I’m certainly on some watch-group now. Lovely.

So, now I’m taking off the entire week of Thanksgiving-but that’s only really 3 days.

And the day after my birthday.

And the Day before we leave for MS-or maybe that’s 2, not sure.

And yet I still have 2 days left.  Poor baby, I know.  The trouble is, I have a site in the middle of Dec. to San Diego.  If I take that Fri off there, then I’m almost out that entire week too.  I certainly don’t want to end up in worse shape just for taking time off.

So, lesson learned.  And for now I suppose I’ll be taking Fridays off

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 enough said for hte moment…dear LORd get me through the end of this month.

The house is, by far, cleaner than it’s ever been since the moment I stepped foot inside the new place back in Feb. and about had an anxiety attack when I realize the true layout of the apt.  Those who know me know I believe that whomever designed the place was smoking some cr.ack.

Anyway, I  meant to take pictures while it’s all nice and spiffy but I forgot.  So, I suppose I’ll have to wait until my family comes at Thanksgiving and it’s clean again.  Actually, truth be told I probably won’t even clean this much for them–the boy was vaccuming….again….at 11pm last night. 

 And so it goes.  Work is busy, but I’m doing ok…at least today which is what matters   With the exception of a VERY large VERY important event guide that is now officially corrupt-requiring me to save it 17 times a min and pray to the Micro.soft Gods that it doesn’t crash, all is well.  Speaking of which, I need to finish lunch and work on some more F&B grids.  PS-New Orleans is EX-PEN-SIVE!!!  Seriously, their prices put NYC at a run for their money!