It is no secret that my work life hasn’t exactly been, let’s say, wonderful. The Sunday night “oh my God how do I even THINK about going to work” waterworks blessedly ended around the one year mark when I finally found my feet.
But that didn’t mean that work-life was suddenly pleasant. Quite the contrary actually. What I began to find was that since I stopped focusing on putting out fires and started focusing on preventing them (you know, now that I have a clue) I was more aware of my surroundings…and my surroundings were full of people who are overworked, underpaid, stressed and really really feeling budget crunches. Oh, and did I mention the entire reorganization of my company’s infrastructure oh…right about the time I started?? Yea. Good times.
And people in my office are showing it. I can’t really blame anyone, it was a tough crappy year-only crappier for me b/c I had no idea that it wasn’t “just me” or the office but rather that there were a lot of changes going on. Unfortunately, management failed to mention it to me, mostly b/c they were trying to deal with it themselves. I don’t blame my direct managers at all, it was just a crappy year.
I should have seen it coming when my original manager finally had enough and took an extended absence vacation only to come back in a different role which I learned of 1 month in on my first site visit. hmm
But here I am, and I’ve survived. Yet my office life is still less than stellar. Do I truly believe it’ll ever change? ehh, probably not while I’m here (it’s made worse by the fact that we have upper level management in this office). But, while I am here I need to make the most of it.
And thus came the brainstorming and conversations b/w the boy and I on how to make this the most pleasant experience possible given the parameters. It must have been January when, on a Friday night, the boy and I headed to the Chinese Buffet for me to once again gorge my sorrows in some fried rice and egg rolls. We started discussing the issues for the umpteenth time, except this time he and I were brainstorming on what I could do, not just b*tching.
I’ll be honest, at first I thought it wasn’t worth it. I mean, I know I talk a lot about walking the walk, and I know it’s up to me to be positive for myself. But I can’t lie-I didn’t think there was ANY way that I was going to make a difference in this mess. And admittedly, I thought the boys ideas on it would just fade.
But then, he sent me an article on affecting change in the workplace. And I found us having more conversations on it. And I found that I had committed myself to being positive even if it was just me.
Time has passed, and in that time I’ve had a few people come to me about either the negative atmosphere and sort of tried to band together to keep our chins up, or have literally had the conversation about teaming together to affect a positive change. Even after our annual meeting, I came out and said just about as much as my “growth opportunity”.
Am I saying that I am really changing my office? No, I wouldn’t dare be so bold. But what I HAVE noticed is that at least for me it’s not quite so painful here. And even my manager commented on her appreciation of my admission of a positive change. It’s far from perfect, but for me it’s my responsibility to try and make it the best possible environment for me to be in. And then it’s my responsibility to go home and love my family and friends and enjoy their company, letting work stay at work.
And so, in that vein, I’ve just taken on another meeting. It’s just an on site, and it’s here in the city. Unfortunately it means I have 3 meetings in the month of May (note there are only 4 weeks in that month 
). But it’s a partner in the Chicago office, and among other (more selfish reasons) my doing this means that she gets to celebrate her Grandmother’s 80th birthday with all her family in Tuscany. And that makes me feel good.
So maybe it’s a little victory. May might suck, but I’m doing my part. And that makes me feel good, and my work environment better for me. And I have an amazing fiancee who’s supporting me on it all to boot.
Lucky lucky girl am I.
