November 10th, 2008
I haven’t written an enormous amount lately, I realize. It’s one part busy, one part “can people really car about my cat’s bathroom habits??” (you can blame my husband for that who tells me my writing is too “stream of consciousness) and two parts Facebook. Yea, that’s right, I’m a Facebook junkie. I find myself checking the site several times a day. While waiting in line to vote I sent messages back and forth on it. I need rehab.
Here’s the thing-I find it strangly intreguing and massively convienent. At the same time, it can be a little…creepy. Allow me to explain.
A few weeks ago, when I first joined the legions of Facebookians, I got “friended” by a woman I didn’t know. I let the request sit there for a few days studying the details provided to me trying to figure out if I really knew her or not. One thing you don’t find a terrible lot of on Facebook (or at least I dont’) is random people trying to friend you just to increase their numbers like some sites (*ahem myspace*) Finally one day I clicked on her photo to enlarge it, and realized it wasn’t her that I knew…it was the man with her. My ex-boyfriend. It surprised me, and yet didn’t. He was never very tech-savvy and when I asked if it was in fact him and how was he, I assumed that he must just be using her account, which would be totally his style.
Turns out he’s engaged, still living in NC. We exchanged pleasantries and to be honest I was glad to hear from him. You see, the last time I spoke to him was on the phone. My mother had just been diagnosed with cancer again and he made some comment about wishing I was the “old Allie” again. Make no mistake, while I may have handled the cancer better the first time, I was still no picnic and I do believe my last sentence had more expletives than nouns in it. And with that, I hung up on him. He hadn’t meant it badly (albeit his intentions were a little selfish) and I had wished for a neutral ending–not to be close again, but not to have me dropping “f-bombs’ like rain in Seattle either. I was sincerely happy for them.
Anyway, being recently married and, oh yea, a planner, he asked me for a few suggestions. A little consulting if you will. A few days later I wanted to find out how their search for a day of planner went, and after going to drop an e-mail on their website, I was astounded to see a blog post about none other than…ME.
It turns out that it wasn’t the old boyfriend who friended me at all, but rather his apparently paranoid and certainly careless fiance. She had discovered my name and searched for me. Creepy. What’s worse though, is that her post was all about how I was “stalking” her fiance and “she acts like she knows him”. Newsflash sweetheart, we dated for 2 years. I did know him. Worse she was talking about how she had gone through my blogs (creepier) and that I was “weird”. Well obviously, anyone who doesn’t know me wouldn’t get my sense of humor. But last time I checked, this site is for my friends….not creepy stalkers. Anyway, she ended her blog talking about how I only wrote him (ummm, isn’t he the one asking me for advice) and how that “chapter had been closed”.
I responded with a polite but curt e-mail, and walked away astounded. I though for a moment about sending them a bill for my consulting services 
Seriously. Matt had known about the entire exchange of course, given the fact that I have nothing to hide and all (unlike stalker girl).
About a week ago I had to unfriend someone myself due to other (much less interesting) circumstances.
The fact is, I harbor no ill will towards any of my past relationships. They didn’t work out, fine. I’m obviously glad they didn’t b/c it led me towards the boy. And I get not speaking to your past. Either way, doesn’t really bother me. My “weakness” if you will is being happy in my life, and wanting others to be as well. So sue me.
It’s just interesting to me how …dangerous…these social networks can be. So why am I still on it?
Easy.
The reason that I joined in the first place was b/c of a friend from high school. We’d lost touch, and she passed away in a biking accident. A few weeks later most of my classmates found ourselves reconnecting on the site. It’s allowed me to get back in touch with many many old friends, and I actually chat with my cousins (who I haven’t talked to in years).
So despite drunk folks, or crazy fiances, or any other oddities it’s allowed me to reconnect with people, and stay in touch with friends. And that makes it worth it.
Still, no one gets friended w/o a security check now 
