Today is Ash Wednesday, also known as the first day of lent. Today, I am a good Catholic.
I would venture to say that most people probably don’t think of me as “super religious”. And while I would not characterize myself that way either, I am certainly much more so than most would realize. There is a reading from Matthew every Ash Wednesday that I think describes it best:
“And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.”
Now, I’m not saying anything derogatory about any one or other religion, but I put that out there because I feel like it synopsizes so much about the religion I was brought up in. The bottom line is that I was never brought up to talk about my relationship with God. In fact, I never had even heard such a phrase until I became involved with Young Life in high school. And when someone first asked me “how is your relationship with God?” my first thought was “do-what?” and the second was “none of your business thankyouverymuch”.
The point is, I was just not brought up to discuss my beliefs like some. And that’s fine. The point isn’t whether or not you shout about your beliefs or you hold them close to the vest. But the point is that because of the fact that my belief system was quite private, most people just aren’t aware. Even my mother probably doesn’t get it. This was only the second Christmas that I wasn’t with them on Christmas Eve, and the first time that I was spending it with another family (besides just my husband). My mother felt the need to remind me to go to church for Christmas Eve mass. I had to laugh. I had already told the boy it was a non-negotiable item.
And of course the older I get, the more important it is to me, and to the boy.
But still, it’s not exactly something I shout out from the rooftops.
For whatever reason, in the past few years Lent has become more and more important. I suppose it’s a time for me to “show my Catholicism” and it’s a chance for me to reconnect. It’s no secret that I”m having a hard time finding a church in this area (I have issue with the Arlington Diocese and their old school mentality) and I’ve long known that even if we join another denomination I’ll always be a Catholic at heart. What can I say, I hate change love tradition.
So this morning I drug myself out of bed for 6:30am service. It was dark, and I almost busted my booty on the ice, but I made it. I got all ashed up, and began my 40 days.
What did I give up? Aspartame. Which, as it turns out is in a LOT. Like Diet Coke. Pretty sure Jesus should give me bonus points for that one. Going back to Matthew 6, we’re not supposed to “look dismal” but rather we’re supposed to ‘put our big girl panties on and deal with it…with a smile”. Ok, so maybe Matthew didn’t say THAT but you get the idea. Have no fear though, I’ll be sharing all of it here.
So 16 hours in. within the first 62 minuets I thought about Diet Coke 5 times. By 1:00pm I had a massive headache and thought I was going to toss my cookies. You tell me how I”m doing.
Reply to “40 Days”