YaYa Princess

Last night I volunteered w/ my industry group at one of the DC women’s shelters.  It’s not something that I do often-admittedly when I was last on the committee I wasn’t that involved, but now that I have had to fight to have my company pay for my industry involvement, I’ve vowed to be more active.

So after our committee meeting, we headed to the shelter in a less than stellar part of DC (the shelter is, ironically, above a liquor store).  I’m nervous going in there-I had to park several blocks away (my mom would kill me if she knew, and actually, the boy probably will once he reads this) and walk alone.  I’m somewhat used to being in cities where I don’t know if my nerves are worthy or if I’m just being paranoid, so I put on my standard “brave face”, head high, eyes averterted from looking at anyone directly, purse under the arm, perifreal vision in overdrive and long, quick hard and determined steps. That’s when I heard the gun shot, sooooo I walked a little faster.  Sometimes a girl’s gotten listen to her gut.

There was actually a big turnout of committee members, and we were setting up while the residents waited patiently in the other room.  While I’m busy, it’s ok.  But it’s when we finally wait for the residents to come in, quiet timidly often times, that I’m not sure what to do with myself.  But I realize they are as uncertain how to react to us as we are to them. 

We always begin by celebrating birthdays that have occured over the past and current month.  Each of the women recieves a gift bag full of goodies they have requested (info provided to us by the staff).  After that, we enjoy chips, cupcakes and other snack food that we’ve brought and play pictonary with a prize tables of donations and freebees.  One of my co-workers actually had several fleeces and jackets that she was trying to donate, so I brought those and boy were they a hit! 

Anyway, since it’s Christmas we also had Christmas gifts for each of them.  The women who head it up from our group did a tremendous job and their bags were stuffed full.  It’s at this point that I begin to become very concious-I don’t want to talk down to them, after all they aren’t stupid, I don’t want to pity them b/c I’m certain that is not what they want, and I don’t want to seem unapproachable or arrogant.  And yet, I’m not sure how to act.  I have no idea how these women became homeless, but I know they still deserve to be treated well.  I look over at one woman, probably about 35, very attractive, well kept for being on the streets, sweet, and well spoken.  So much so that I momentarily wonder if she’s actually staff.  But she’s not.  And I can’t help but wonder how she got here.

Pictionary is what helps.  I immediatly jump in and take on the role of Emcee as it were.  The ladies, all of us, begin to loosen up.  They love this game and tonight it seems (much to my relief) that they can all read.  This is not always the case, and you find yourself trying to gently help them out w/o letting them know you know.  Afterwards we start to sing carols.  I purposely put myself beside some of the ladies (who are seated) as I realize that we are almost segregated in a middle school dance sort of fashion.  I’m paried up with one of the residents on “Twleve Days of Christmas” and I realize she is as much a ham as I, and we just go with it.

By the end of the night I realize I have not smiled so much in I don’t know how long.  And the ladies-God, they are always so very grateful and appreciative.  I think that they are strong enough to be humble, and to be able to be thankful and appreciative.  They tell us over and over how much it means to them, how thankful they are for us, how much fun they have had (and they mean it too!) and give us blessings.  I can’t help but think that I am the one who is thankful.  I’m glad I’m able to not only give back, but (and maybe this isn’t the best thing to say, but everyone thinks it) actually see my acts being appreciated. 

And I realize how blessed I am.  I have friends and family whom I love and am loved by, a roof over my head, food in my fridge, and a job that’s……well, it pays anyway :)  For a moment I feel guilty for having all of it, but then I realize I have no reason to feel guilty.  I have worked hard for this life, and continue to do so.  So I won’t feel guilty.  But I do look at these women and think - there but for the grace of God go I.  If you don’t know what I mean, stew on it a bit.  It’s one of my favorite sayings.

Does this mean that tomorrow I won’t worry about paying off my credit card or be fussy about having nothing to wear?  Of course not-I’m human after all.  But when I get really uptight over it, I can remind myself that I’m not that bad off.  And while I may never be rich, or in a position to have a shopping spree in Neiman’s just b/c it’s Thursday, I am still quite blessed.  And I will continue to try to give back.  To let these woman know they are not unnoticed.  And to remind myself that life is more than black.berries and Jimmy.Choos. because I will admit, sometimes I need a little reminding.

Ok, so it’s not TECHNIALLY the end of the year.  But today is my last day in the office until 2008, and even then I’m only coming back for one day until I head to Las Vegas for “that” show. 

It’s been an interesting year, but it’s been a great one.  I don’t just mean b/c the boy finally succumbed to my insescent pleading to make an honest woman of me either ;)  Honestly, despite all the change, the frusteration, and the general ready to throw myself off a cliff lest I have one more project thrown on my plate, I’ve learned a lot, and I’ve grown a lot.  And I’m heading into 2008 with a feeling that, while it might will absolutely be utter insanity, I can handle it.  Linen colors be damned

And so, here I sit, trying to tie up loose ends.  I’m ready to go spend some time with family, and generally be thankful for my life, my family, my friends.  In case I dont’ make it back online before then, I wish you all the Merriest Christmas and a very happy new year!

I’m in San Diego today and tomorrow-such a flashback.  It’s crazy to me.  Last time I was here was the first time the boy said the “L” word.  Sigh

So far my 30’s have been great.  I’ve worked just enough to be efficient and good at my job, w/o killing myself, staying late or wishing that my skinny office window (which reminds me of a prision cell) would open so I could just out.  I’ve gone out, been with friends and generally had a good time (granted lately I’ve been a little less than overproductive but what’re you gonna do?)  Pretty good if you ask me

I’ve also done a good bit of wedding stuff without getting completely overwhelmed. However, today is the day we meet with “that” priest.  I’m a little nervous, but mostly just anxious.  It will, however, be nice to see this guy face to face to be able to read him.  I continue to hope that despite how he treats me on the phone, that it’s simply a cultural difference (he’s from Vietnam) and that once we are face to face I’ll be able to read him better.  Or, at least the boy will be there :)  Plus, I’m going to get certain bits of information I’ve been anxious to get squared away (like the cost of using in-house church music and her contact info) which I’ve been afraid of asking for b/c of the “don’t you know what’s important” response I’ve been getting thus far.  I understand that my religion is important, but guess what, so is A.) staying on budget and B.) my sanity.  You want me to make donations to the church and other good causes?  Hey, I’m all about it.  So the more I know what I have the more I’m able to give thank you very much. 

So here I sit, working from home, trying to get motivated, but really just watching the clock.