We took She She to the airport yesterday. It was a great weekend and a great visit. Before we went to the airport we spent the day at open houses (relax, we’re just getting our pinky toes wet that’s all….no house buying in the near future). We did see one kinda cool, kinda B.lair W.itch house in which M. Kn.ight Sh.amalade was the relator 
Having her here, having here so near-it was so comforting. Thursday morning before work I couldn’t put my finger on it right away, but then I realized. It was peace and safety. There’s something lovely about knowing that mom (even if she isn’t mine) is close by. There are times when I’m glad I’m out and away from my family, standing on my own, proving myself that I can do this thing called life. But more and more now I find myself jelous of those that have family close, that can simply call up and decide to have dinner together, that don’t have a job that require a major city or have families who live in wonderful small towns or who don’t have a complex about having said job.Â
I’m rambling, I know.
After we dropped Sheshers off we drove by one more neighborhood. Maybe it was b/c its was Sunday, maybe it was b/c I was starving, but out of no where I just said “I miss She She” and began to tear up (not good when you’re the one driving).Â
I began to realize something though this weekend. Remember how in high school all you wanted was to be popular, to be in the “in” crowd? Hell, I don’t think that really ever goes away. But what happens when you find yourself as an adult in that place that your career that you always wanted to be, with the firm you always wanted to be with, with the schedule that is so insane you thought somehow would prove your worth, that it was so right there you could taste it in your mouth.
And then you realize that while you aren’t unhappy, maybe what you want isn’t really so grand? Maybe it’s quite simple really. Maybe you just needed to prove to yourself you could do it. And maybe, just maybe, you need to get over ‘yourself’ enough so you can enjoy the simplier things in life.Â
In the meantime, I’m here and I’ll do whatever I can to enjoy the ride.
3 comments on “The In Crowd”
For us it was definately proving that we could do it - out away from family - just the two of us carving out our lives. And we did it. And we realized we wanted more than careers. And we couldn’t have our cake and eat it too - at least not the flavor we wanted. But we dearly miss “the big city” and every now and then question our decision to leave. Maybe someday we’ll be back to enjoy all that it has to offer - for now - we’re pretty happy with our simpler life.
You can have my mom if you want her!!!!
Seriously though…while it is nice to have my mom close when I need a sitter, there are many times (a lot lately) that I wish I wasnt here in the area we are. That I want to be somewhere else, making my life as I want it, not as it has always been here. Make me into what I want to be, not what this town has shaped me into. But alais, I am here and my family has no desire like mine to leave. And so I am trying to figure out how to just be.
I couldn’t have said it better myself. I too am jealous of those that have family close. My mother and grandmother came over this weekend and all today I was completely depressed because they went home. What I would give to have them closer.
But I do feel pride that I’m out here doing what I want to do and I’m pretty good at it. And who knows, if I was closer I may start to take them for granted. Maybe it’s just as good to have less moments together because it makes the time we spend with them that much more special.
Reply to “The In Crowd”