YaYa Princess

Today was the first day of the conference, and a good day.   My brain, however, is working full time.  Those that know me well know that I have a deathly fear of failure.  It seems dumb, I Know, but I am who I am. 

I just had a great talk w/ the boy, and yet frusterating at the same time.  I’m frusterated w/ myself.  I’m frusterated that I let fear rule so much of my life.  I know I’ve come so far, and yet some days it seems like 1 step forward and 10 steps back.  Then again, like L just learned maybe I just need a really good night’s sleep.  Too bad I won’t get that until this weekend. 

I know this much, I’m truly lucky to have the boy in my life.  I love you.

UPDATE:
So moments after finishing this and just before I decided to put on the PJ’s my phone rang. It was Odie, my head of security asking me if I wanted to grab a quick drink downstairs. Odie is stationed at the center but was waiting for one of hte new guards to come on shift before he left. We saw eachother in the hall tonight during the reception and both of us wer pissy b/c of certain individuals in the hall so he figured I could use a drink and boy was he right. It’s been a good conference thus far, but a bit lonely since I don’t really know any of these people (I’ve pretty well just hung around my sleeping room since they all go out to dinner) so it was nice to just shoot the poo and vent a bit w/ someone-especially someone who reminds me of friends from home. It’s also nice since I feel like all I do sometimes is vent to the boy-his poor poor ears God knows I can talk. Anyway, I’ve decided that not only is Lina’s solution of sleep good, but grabbing a drink and a laugh isn’t too shabby either.

And to the boy-you are right. I need to relax more and think less. So here-on my public blog I am admitting you are right Just don’t rub it in too much or else remember I still can delete this -

In: Everyday Life, Personal | | #